Asking for Help

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Over the years, I’ve learned to ask for help. It was difficult at first, but sometimes you just can’t go it alone. When headaches or my back are giving problems, my family takes on a few extra chores. When my depression is keeping me stuck inside my cranium, my daughter will ask, “Whatcha thinking about mama?” It breaks me out of those nasty thoughts and brings me back.

I don’t want to be a bother to anyone, which is why it’s so difficult to ask for help. Results help, though. When I get over whatever is ailing me and I don’t have tons of housework waiting on me, or when my depression is more easily managed because I spent less time trapped in my cranium, it’s hard to ignore those results. It makes it easier to ask for what you need.

Lately, I’ve been struggling to write or edit. I second guess myself and question what business I even have writing. I know this is a result of my depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. They’re working together to make my self-confidence plummet. I know this because a month ago I was on my way to having my first novel ready for a professional editor, and I didn’t question myself then.

I’ve had a rough start to the year, and it seems determined to have a real go at me. Normally, I weather the storm and use writing to help. Unfortunately, I’ve had a sort of crushing realization that I don’t feel at all comfortable discussing, and I’m struggling to write or edit or even look at a page. Day after day, I’ve tried to figure out what I need.

I need help from my Twitter friends. The people who know what it’s like to write and lose confidence in yourself. How do you fix your self-confidence? What tips do you have for me? What can I try? I don’t care how you respond. Reply here, DM or @ me on Twitter, send me an email. I’d be very grateful. Thank you.

 

 

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6 Comments

  1. Just know that it will pass. You’ll have a great writing day and be back on top again. I lose faith in my abilities at least weekly.

  2. Confidence in my writing is like riding a roller coaster; climbing to the top of the hill one minute and plummeting downhill the next. When I find myself at the bottom (and having all the gut-wrenching feelings that go with the rapid descent), I like to imagine one person that my writing will really help. It will encourage, strengthen, and bless this person, make a real difference in his or her day, or even in their life — all I have to do is get it to them. Even if the rest of the world thinks I have no business writing, I will have made such a difference to this one person. For their sake, I will see it through. When it’s about them instead of about me … I can do it. Best wishes to you!

    • I apologize for my late response. I’ve truly been struggling to find the words to express my gratitude. I love your suggestion. From the first time I tried to write, my sole wish was to move just one person, to simply make a difference to just one person. I’m going to try to write again today with this feeling in mind. If I can help or entertain one other person, I’ve done my job. Thank you for sharing your outlook with me. It’s brought me back to why I write. Best wishes to you as well!

  3. Your post has me thinking more about depression. And how easily it can get in the way of writing, just like it can get in the way of every aspect of life. For me, depression not only robs the joy from simple things, it makes small (and big!) tasks hard to even approach. My depression is mostly controlled, but every once in awhile I’m reminded what an obstacle it can be. I’m wondering if writer’s block can be mostly the work of depression? And then, during those times when depression is not as oppressive, writing is easier? Just food for thought. I wish you all the best on your writing journeys!

    • I apologize for my late response. As you know, I’ve been struggling to find my words.

      You could be on the right track with the depression/writing block link. I’m sure there are times it’s just a block, but I’d say the majority of times I’ve been blocked were due to depression and a lack of confidence. The depression has improved, and I keep writing bits here and there. Today, I plan to make myself write something. Hopefully, it’ll be worth reading. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond.

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